Archive for April, 2011

New Trailer For Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

h1 Friday, April 29th, 2011

Did anyone else watch the cartoon as a kid and wonder what exactly “meatsie-i” was and then not learn until you were about 15 that it’s “more than meets the eye? No? Alriiiiiight.

So that’s the trailer for that movie! It seems a whole lot like the first one but with a little bit of moon at the beginning. Also, “Dark of The Moon?” Guys, you can say “side.” Just call it Dark Side Of The Moon. No one is going to confuse a Michael Bay movie with a Pink Floyd album. One of them is something stoned teenagers want to “experience,” and the other… Wait, no that makes sense. Good call removing “side,” movie guys.

Thanks, Video Gum.

Chiddy’s Freestyle World Record Is About To Get Broken Already – By ME

h1 Friday, April 29th, 2011

Last night, Chiddy broke the Guinness World Record for Longest Consecutive Freestyle Rap by rapping nonstop for over nine straight hours. Hopefully you enjoyed your brief stay at the top, Chiddy (or should I say…SHIDDY? BURRRRNNNN), because your record is ABOUT TO GET BROKEN ALREADY.

To prove that it’s not that difficult to just make up a bunch of words, I will break Chiddy’s world record TODAY by freestyling for TEN STRAIGHT HOURS, starting right now:


h1 Friday, April 29th, 2011

Lots of people don’t like lots of things. If you are a person who doesn’t like things, this is a very important message for you.

(Slightly not safe for work.)

This video is likely to solve all types of problems. Bullying, hate crimes, domestic abuse, nonconstructive criticism — all problems soon to be in the past. They should play this in schools every morning.

All I really need to know I learned from a 16 second internet video.

Thanks, The Daily What.

Introducing Gabe & Max Like The Internet, A Brand New Show Celebrating The Best Video Clips The Internet Has To Offer

h1 Friday, April 29th, 2011

Do you guys like the internet? What’s that, you don’t? Oh well, move along then, nothing to see here!

Now that we got rid of those bozos, we’re pretty sure that we can all agree that the internet is a magical and wonderful place, filled with cute animal videos, porn, and more cute animal videos. There’s only one problem with the internet: It’s too big!

To help combat this problematic issue of having too many awesome things on the internet and not nearly enough time to digest them all, we are thrilled to present to you the very first installment of Gabe & Max Like The Internet, a weekly show that will cover the best and worst that the internet has to offer. The program is hosted by the talented duo of Gabe Delahaye (Videogum) and Max Silvestri (one of New York Magazine’s Ten Comedians That Funny People Find Funny), who you’ll remember from Gabe & Max’s Guide to Man Style and “Gabe and Max’s How To Get the Dreamlife of Your Dreams Using the Internet.” And now that we’ve got the intros out of the way, there’s nothing left to do but for you to enjoy!

Girl Animal Noises [YouTube]
Tech Talk (aka Lawnmower Powered Wheelchair) [YouTube]
Ticklish Penguin [YouTube]
Facial Flex [YouTube]
Christian Clown Puppet [YouTube]

Donald Trump’s New Oil Slogan: “You’re Not Gonna Raise That F*CKIN’ PRICE!”

h1 Friday, April 29th, 2011

Rising oil prices are a huge problem. There is no obvious and immediate solution though. It’s a complicated issue that involves not only simple supply and demand, but also speculation about what supply and demand will be in the future. Right? Nope. Not at all. Donald Trump says that what we really need to stabilize the petroleum market is to have one of those lame-os in Washington finally stand up and say out loud, “YOU’RE NOT GONNA RAISE THAT F*CKIN’ PRICE, YOU UNDERSTAND? ME!”

Not safe for work or big oil.

Sounds like a good plan! I’m pretty sure Donald Trump saying that is why the Coke machines at the VH1 offices on Hudson still cost only 50 cents. So it should totally work on oil. All anyone has to do is tell… well, he doesn’t specify who exactly you tell this to. Josh Opec maybe. That’s probably an important oil guy.

Josh Opec: I’m gonna raise that f*ckin’ price. What are your thoughts on that?

Donald Trump: You’re not gonna raise that f*ckin’ price, you understand me?!

Josh Opec: Oh. Wow. Yes! I do understand you.

So, that’s how that would probably go. Oh also, this speech took place at the Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas, so let’s all take this very seriously please.

There just aren’t enough positive tags you could attach to this post.

Glee Prom Queen and Prom King Leaked

h1 Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

I’m not even gonna use the words “plot spoilers ahead,” because if you’re the kinda fag that gets all worked up over Glee, then you have no business reading any further. I’m formally banning you from my site. GTFO. I’m not even kidding. I hate you and everything you stand for.

That said, the big boring news this morning is that some Glee extra pissed off producer Brad Falchuk when she tweeted who would be named prom king and queen on a yet-to-be aired episode the show. God, I can’t even type those words without involuntarily clenching my teeth. The Daily Mail says:

Nicole Crowther, who has appeared in scenes on the hit television musical, wrote a message saying: ‘K is PQ and Ka is PK.’

E! Online claims this means Kurt, played by Chris Colfer, will be prom queen while Karofsky, played by Max Adler, is prom king in the gay storyline.

Falchuk then wrote to Crowther: ‘Hope you’re qualified to do something besides work in entertainment. Who are you to spoil something talented people have spent months to create?’

She later wrote a message saying: ‘They are not doing reshoots because of my careless mistake so shut up haters and leave me alone. Grow up and get a life.’

The user later disappeared off the social networking site after receiving negative tweets from fans disappointed she’d leaked the storyline which may now have to be filmed again.

She has since been fired as a regular extra on the hugely successful show.

The irony in this is that the director is actually the one that let the proverbial cat out the bag here. If he hadn’t replied to Ms. Crowther, nobody would have ever been the wiser. It’s not like anybody knew who the fuck Nicole Crowther was. She’s a fucking extra. Everyone knows extras rank right between janitors and fluffers on a film set. Dumbass.

The whole cast at the Golden Globes earlier this year:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

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