Archive for January, 2009



BEST OF THE BWE: Like The Super Bowl, But With Words And Not Like It


h1 Friday, January 30th, 2009
Don't forget, an all new episode of Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins premieres tonight at 11! Tune in for all your Sad Blagojevich footage, gentlemanly Mickey Rourke footage, and out-of-control Idol children! GraphMeanwhile, from the internet week that was:
  • The Office porn: just like the regular Office, but with more Creed and the plots are more plausible.
  • Here's 5 convincing reasons to watch the Puppy Bowl instead of the Super Bowl. Besides, this puppy already knows who's gonna win.
  • Barack the President VS Barack the Elephant: either one would be better than our last president ohmygodamIrightpeople?????
  • REEEECAPS: Lost took us back to the roaring fifties, while Top Chef had a Super Bowl themed week featuring the Super Bowlest food of all: f*cking oats.
  • Michelle asks the painful philosophical question: Who could Evan Rachel Wood possibly make out with next?
  • Austin got attacked by Nazi zombies, who unfortunately were way too early for South By Southwest.
  • There's not a boob in the world I have less interest in seeing than those of Amy Winehouse.
  • Here's our 10 Favorite Zac Efron Blingees, even though making a Blingee of Zac Efron is like drawing on the sun with a yellow marker.
  • Do whatever you want to Roxanne, Microsoft Songsmith, but leave Buddy Holly out of this!
  • PETA cut through the crap and finally told us to have sex with vegetables, more or less.
  • Kanye West said this week that he doesn't want to star in a bisexual porn. On a related note, Michelle believes that Kanye West wants to star in a bisexual porn.

Broadway Unveils Radical New ?Actually Advertising? Campaign


h1 Friday, January 30th, 2009
The New York Tourism And Marketing Office announced their new Broadway campaign today designed to revitalize the struggling stage industry in the wake of the economic collapse. Here are some of the highlights from the new Broadway campaign: "First off, we'll be placing these two colorful, drama-looking banners around the city; one will be located right off the 145th St Stop on the B Train, the other will be placed outside a pretty popular bodega in Canarsie. If they're successful, we may add a third."
BW Masks
"Rather than directing patrons to Broadway.com, we'll be using a new, easier-to-use website, NYCgo.com/artsandleisure/arts/events/upcoming/broadway/shows/yesseriously/shows/iknowitsaripoff/shows/order/geocities.com/dancingbabygif/newyork/newyork/BROADWAY/shows/ordernow"
BW NYC Go
"What's that, you say? Milk the crap out of Will Ferrell's six-week Broadway run for the next ten years? We're already on it."
BW Ferrell
"To combat increasing skepticism from investors, we'll remind people about Avenue Q, the only musical to turn a profit since, like, the 1923 Ziegfeld Follies."
BW Avenue Q
"For further cross-promotion, the Avenue Q characters will also vote in the Iraqi elections."
BW Iraqui
"Whoa, is that Mary Louise Parker? Cool."
ML Parker
"Worse comes to worse, if you're still not buying $120 play tickets during a historically paralyzing economic slump, we'll have these dudes beat the sh*t out of you."
BW Dudes

SUPER BOWL AD WIZARDS: Ed McMahon & MC Hammer Get Cash 4 Comedy Gold


h1 Friday, January 30th, 2009
We knew the economy was screwed when a company encouraging Americans to send in their family heirlooms for food money had raked up cash to run a 30 second spot during the Superbowl. We really knew the economy was screwed when legendary performers Ed McMahon and MC Hammer climbed on board for the ride. The Cash4Gold.com Superbowl ad you are about to witness will both elate you and deflate you. Elate you because it's truly hilarious in a surprisingly self-aware way, and deflate because -- let's face it -- when a pious man like MC Hammer has to pawn his gold pants and sledgehammer for money, we as a collective nation are about 4 mac & cheese meals away from giving random HJ's for a hot meal. And don't get me started on Ed's gold giraffe... So, in the immortal words of the love of my life Ed McMahon... Heeeere's Money!

So many emotions.