Archive for June, 2008


h1 Monday, June 30th, 2008
  • MY PRECIOUS: Guy Ritchie was spotted boarding a flight to NYC without his wedding band on. Meaning Lourdes and Rocko must be approaching Mordor right about now. (Us Magazine)
  • MUSIC NEWS: Heidi Montag would like to record a Christian album, which she will call "Jesus Loves My Rack." (A Socialite's Life)
  • 100 Movies in 2 Minutes. Gotta name em all. (Gorillamask)
  • SAW 5 TIMES TOO MANY: The new Saw poster is out. And it is more terrifying than you can even imagine.... (Videogum)
  • EXTREME MAKEOVER, HOMO EDITION: My friend Derek Hartley reports from Gay Pride Weekend: "I am sooooo burned out right now with pride all weekend long. Ugh. No one needs to be THAT happy about anything for three days. We should have gay pride hour and its just vodka shots at Prada and then we are done. Thats more than plenty!" Click over to his blog for more hilarious musings. (Derek Hartley)

So I Was Walking Down The Street The Other Day, And There Was Spike Jonze, In A Helmet, Doing A Crane Kick Off A Parking Meter

h1 Monday, June 30th, 2008
Seriously, is there ever a day where I DON'T see the beloved king of quirky cinema doing Karate Kid moves on top of municipal property? So LA...
(via World's Greatest Blogger Kanye West, who prob was really there)

CAPTION THIS: Yep ? Here?s What Brendan Fraser Looks Like Now.

h1 Monday, June 30th, 2008
Brendan Fraser

THINGS THAT EXIST: You Guys, I?m Getting My Teeth Tattooed With David Letterman?s Face

h1 Monday, June 30th, 2008
daveteethtattoo.JPG('s summer interns Emmy and Maggie are spectacularly good at finding things on the Internet that actually exist even though they should not. From time to time, we'll be posting these existent things for your consideration.) So if my eyes and "Dentistry's Website" are not deceiving me, it would appear that one can now get permanent tattoos...on their teeth. According to the Tooth Artist, who exists, here's the skinny:
Normally this artwork is done on the back teeth, the molars. Some people prefer having it on the cheek side of the tooth, some on the tongue side. These tattoos are maybe considered a white collar tattoo. They are seen only when the person that has one wants to share what they have, by pulling their cheek out so it could be seen.
Finally, I will be able to pull out my cheek, and expose to whomever I choose a gum-line that's been enhanced by a tiny picture of David Letterman grinning! YES! The day is finally upon. You lame hipsters with your trendy little arm sleeves can just step aside, because you're not really edgy until every molar in your mouth is inked with images of Simon Cowell, a wolf, Tiger Woods and "Bob Dillion", all of which exist, even though they should not.

Face It, This Kid?s Not Getting Into College!

h1 Monday, June 30th, 2008
older_student_taking_test.jpgWe all had those days in high school where we were at the end of our rope. Nobody will kiss you, teach is a jerkwad, and these books are laaaaame, man. But very few of us have the guts to turn an exam into an opportunity to show everybody EXACTLY WHO'S BOSS. Well, a high school kid in the U.K. decided to do just that - by writing nothing else on the paper except the words "F*ck" and "off". DAAAAAAAAAAAMN. His teacher, however, turns out to be way more of a badass, because he actually gave the kid credit for the two words, stating, "It would be wicked to give it zero because it does show some very basic skills we are looking for, like conveying some meaning and some spelling." He brings up a vaild question - what ARE we looking for these days in our high school graduates? - Imaginative, yet subtle, methods for bucking the system - Creative problem solving when the man is bringing them down - A charming, humble attitude that says "I just took a poo on your establishment, now give me ice cream!" I'm SO excited to see the future of this planet, in the hands of these gems.

S.S. Ashlee Simpson Pregnancy Boobies

h1 Thursday, June 12th, 2008


All aboard today’s summer supererogative, the S.S. Ashlee Simpson Pregnancy Boobies. I didn’t really think there was any way to make Asshat tolerable, but bigger boobs are certainly an improvement. Also an improvement? Cement shoes and a swift current. But there’s no sense in getting greedy, now is there? I guess I’ll take what I can get.