Celebrity Bathwater

Back in the early 1990s, Ireland was at the very forefront of white people rapping against rape. Take this soon to be classic, “Rap Against Rape,” as an example. It has everything you’d ever want in a rape rap: Irish people, back-up dancers, and an amazing hook singer. This is by far more effective than my former favorite anti-rape rap, “Things That Make You Go Rape.”

Remember Noah Garfinkel’s post about the Cami-Secret ? Of course you do because he is your PRINCE. The PRINCE of your FAVORITE blog. Whereas I am but a scullery maid, waiting in the ashes, just hoping for a glimpse from Noah. Anyhoops. I met one Nick Stevens, comedian, last night when he kindly tossed me a few matches so I wouldn’t freeze on the stoop I was huddled against. He then somehow recognized my coal-smudged face as someone who writes for Best Week Ever. And he said, “I saw your Cami-Secret post on Best Week Ever and it inspired me to make a parody video and suddenly it was very popular!” And he took me in from the cold and fed me six hot cross buns.* I did not tell him that it was Noah who deserved his thanks and the buns, but I was so very hungry.

Now, normally I wouldn’t deign to show you something with over a gagillion hits because I have more respect for your Internet ways, but since this success was inspired by Noah’s obsession with boobs, I feel it only appropriate to show this parody video. That, and it’s really f*cking funny. (Language NSFW)

So, hooray, Nick! Congrats on your viral success and I hope that we (Noah) continue to inspire you in similar ways. I’m sure I’ve inspired someone to solve global warming, I just haven’t heard from them yet.

*This has quickly become how I remember The Little Princess

Whenever I’m worried that I’m stuck in a dream about an eternally joyless internet, “Between Two Ferns” is the pinch that lets me know I’m awake and alive.

This week’s episode with Sean Penn and Zach Galifianakis’ southern, mustachioed ‘brother’ may be the best one yet. Behold, the editorial commentary I get paid to do: I love this video.